16. Thank you
Boss: “Joe, I need you to get started on this model over the weekend and if you’re free Saturday night, complete this pitchbook so I can look at it Sunday morning then you can make corrections all day Sunday.”
Joe: “Will do. Thanks.”
Thanks? Yeah, I didn’t really want to have any free time this weekend after working my ass off during the week, so thanks! For some reason, analysts feel the need to close out everything they say to higher ups by saying thank you, or thanks. If I just tell my boss that I’ll do something or simply send a short email with no clear ending, it seems like I’m being rude. I’m just an analyst, I should be thankful for all the work I can get because now is my time to learn the business. It’s not my time to enjoy my life, meet new people in a new city, or sleep. That’s for later in life. After I retire.
There’s nothing worse than being told that I should just be thankful for having this experience. Lots of people would die to have this job and make the same kind of money. My “friend” told me this is like the movie Devil Wears Prada, in that the lead girl is told so many people would love to have her job and that it will open a million doors for her. All she has to do is sacrifice part of her 20s and risk losing her friends and loved ones. On the one hand I am very thankful for the job that pays me well, opens door and looks good on a resume, but I am not thankful for the boring, tedious, time-consuming work that seems to appear Friday at 5pm. “Thank you so much sir for putting me on a wild goose chase to find numbers in companies’ financials that only exist for the one company you used as an example. I could have been hanging out with my friend who is visiting for the first time in a year, but thanks for the experience!”
It’s hilarious because every time a fellow analyst is given a lot of boring, time consuming work to do he or she will say thank you on the phone or in an email, then immediately bitch to the rest of us about how pissed he or she is. This reaction is inevitable. It’s not that we are not hard working. Most of us went to top colleges, finished at the top of our class, and are very driven individuals. We have just had our steering wheel taken away from us and are now being driven into the ground by older people trying to save their own jobs. In a way I am thankful that it has made me realize how much I like driving myself and should consider starting my own business. As much as I love thanking some 30 year old who just graduated business school and majored in micro-managing 23 year olds, I’d much rather not get paid half of this b-school fool, and instead try my hand in the business world. Hooters restaurants for each type of food anyone? Who wouldn’t pick Chinese Hooters where you get the same crap Chinese as Peking Duck restaurant except there are scantily clad waitresses and sports on some HDTVs. Who wants to invest?